I woke up today at 5:30am to the sound of my brother making his lunch. How can making lunch possibly be that noisy?
At about 5:45am, my sister came down and went through her morning ritual, making no effort to quiet her keys while roaming around the living room and kitchen.
6am, Atti discovers paper balls. Having just discovered that kittens separated from the mother at too early an age can result in the kittens exhibiting anti-social behaviors, I feel guilty about taking away one of her few pleasures in life. Atti is a bitch. So it's settled, she will always be feisty (now annoyed again at the spelling of the word "feisty"), annoyed and reactive. I always thought she was a lot like me. I, however, don't have the excuse she does. As a matter of fact, I could have used some time away from my mother as a child, I think. I take the paper ball to the other living room and she follows. It's not 5 minutes before she drags it down again and decides that playing with noisy paper away from mommy isn't nearly as fun as playing with it near her when she's desperate to fall asleep again.
6:15am, I have to pee and I'm dehydrated and that's keeping me awake now too. I'm warm. Too warm. I'm never too warm and now I'm smitten with this warmness, exhausted from trying to fall asleep. Bathroom. Water. Let's try this again.
6:30am, Dad is up because he is a freak of nature. Between becoming an old man and retiring after 38 years of getting up at 5am, I guess 6:30am isn't too bad. However, washing dishes and what my ears can only describe as "moving pans around" is too much old man for me to handle. I already have an irrational, unhealthy, almost aggressive reaction to him every time he tells me to "turn the internet off when you're done." Of course, every time he says it I somehow think this will be the time I finally get through to him.
6:50am, I surrender to insomnia and check my mail. Not surprised but still a little disappointed that only Express has found me worthy of emailing in the ungodly hours of the night.
7am, I decide to write this wretched post.
7:29 is the current time and my conclusions are as follows:
1. All my attempts to go back to sleep were in vain.
2. I still feel stupid about accidentally referring to my recent breakup as a divorce to a complete stranger and in front of my brother and his wife, who may be well on their way to getting divorced. I don't think my reference was anything more than a Freudian slip, perhaps alluding to my level of commitment in that relationship, but still embarrassing and unbareably awkward nonetheless.
3. Living with my family again is taking ahold of my sanity much sooner than expected.
4. "Were you watching Mrs. Doubtfire?", a question asked of me with suspicion and an accusatory tone, is probably the most pointless question in this entire universe. Thanks, dad.
5. Walking around the house in circles will not suddenly reveal a hidden door to a hidden room where I can have my own space. That space doesn't exist and I'll have to settle for a nook in the wall in which I can text people and on a good day, have a chance at not being spoken to for 5 minutes.
6. How much fucking crime could the Naperville Police Department be fighting that they can't find the time to do my background check? I'm sure it has everything to do with something I don't have any knowledge of. Either way, I can't actually start my job until they get that check to the district HR office. Waiting for the phone to ring for just this start date has made me more anxious than any call from some gentleman caller.
7. I will add watching baby turtles hatch and make it to the ocean to my list of long term goals.
8. I have absolutely no attachment to my grandparents. Never have.
9. I am extremely grateful for my friends. It's nice to know that after so many years, I've picked the right ones.
10. I need another part time job in Naperville. Suggestions?
